There is a little bit of news around my office that I haven’t yet posted about here. This spring, I started offering my own workshops directly. These workshops have been a goal of mine for a long time, and I’m really excited to have been able to figure out and set up all of the infrastructure to make them finally happen!
The workshops have been up and running now for a few months. It’s exciting to be facilitating and teaching adults (again) so regularly. The first cohort of my 4-session course “Create an Action to Defend Trans Life” has wrapped up. In this course I work with folks to think about their existing skills, networks, and preferences to support the design of an action that will in some way affirm trans life and/or support the struggle for trans liberation. An “action” is intentionally broad; there are so many more options for supporting social transformation than attending or organizing a protest. Fundraising is a critical action, for example! Or getting involved in your local library to help defend against book banning attacks. People taking this course get support from me in identifying ideas that will work for them as individuals, and also in designing and getting started with their plans. Everyone also gets plenty of support from the other folks taking the class (that’s why it’s a “cohort model”).
Multiple projects from the first cohort are now ongoing in the world, and I am so excited about it. It’s truly meaningful to support people to enact social change in tangible ways. Participants said they really appreciate the breadth of options I offered for getting involved, “besides throwing all of my time, energy, and safety on the line,” and that they were encouraged “to think in practical, concrete ways.”
Not to brag, but another participant said “Meg conveys a cool confidence—smart, well informed, friendly, kind. The course discussions were my favorite part of the workshops, listening to the questions from participants and Meg’s answers. I enjoyed getting to know the other members of the group. Meg was great about helping us to find projects that fit within our abilities and interests.” I hope to embody this compliment as well as I can!
I’m planning to offer this course a few more times, hopefully even regularly. The next session of this class is open for a few more days. We’ll meet once a month, on the second Saturdays, and scholarships are available. Just ask. I really hope this class will be a way for me to continue to engage people in activism and empower folks to get off the benches, because right now we need all hands on deck.
I’m also offering shorter workshops where people can practice using different gender pronouns and ask any other questions about gender identity that extends beyond male and female. The next session of this workshop is designed specifically for folks involved in supervising or hiring. It is two sessions: the second session will be about negotiating backlash for trans affirmative policies and is open to anyone interested, whether or not you are in a supervisory position.
As many of you may know, these are disastrous and very scary times for trans folks. My hope with these workshops is to encourage everyone to do all that they can right now in solidarity, and to make sure that trans life can be lived out loud in public. Please do what you can, and please tell your friends and family the same.
It is so healing to garden in late spring and turn my attention to the non-human world.
Resumen: Les activistas* dicen que la medida — implementada como parte de una “guerra contra la extorsión” — en realidad equivale a la criminalización de la pobreza.
Activistas forman un plantón contra el estado de excepción el 14 de enero 2023 en Parque Finlay, Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Foto: Karla Lara.
En Tegucigalpa, Honduras, un grupo de activistas se reune regularmente los sábados por la mañana para oponerse a una de las nuevas políticas populares de la presidenta Xiomara Castro: el estado de emergencia que suspende parcialmente varios derechos constitucionales fundamentales. La medida, también conocida como estado de excepción, pretende ser una parte clave de la “guerra contra la extorsión” de Castro, un problema importante y estructural en Honduras. Les activistas antimilitaristas, sin embargo, dicen que no se puede avanzar con más militarización y que el estado de excepción equivale a la criminalización de la pobreza.
Al igual que sus contrapartes abolicionistas en los Estados Unidos, estes activistas antimilitaristas a menudo son atacades en las redes sociales cuando invitan a la gente a sus actividades. Les comentaristas les acusan de apoyar la extorsión o incluso de ser mareres. Criticar al nuevo gobierno conlleva el riesgo de ser tachade de derechista, dijo una miembro del grupo, Sofía (seudónimo), que pidió el anonimato por temor a represalias de la policía. Las medidas son populares, dijo Sofía, a pesar de que “se atropellan los derechos humanos”, porque “la gente quiere venganza”.
“Y es entendible también”, agregó. En Honduras como en los Estados Unidos, la violencia es una respuesta popular para enfrentar la violencia.
Siguiendo los pasos de El Salvador
En enero de 2022, Honduras eligió una nueva presidenta, Xiomara Castro. Castro, cuya campaña fue apoyada por muchos de los movimientos sociales del país, es la primera mujer presidenta del país y la primera en ser elegida por un partido no tradicional (LIBRE). La elección de Castro marcó el fin de la narcodictadura que se impuso después de que su esposo, Mel Zelaya, fuera destituido con fuerza de su cargo en 2009, y representada por Juan Orlando Hernández, quien fue presidente por dos periodos.
El período de 12 años posterior al golpe del 2009 se caracterizó por una mayor militarización, debilitamiento de las instituciones civiles, altos niveles de violencia contra activistas, colusión con los narcotraficantes en los niveles más altos del gobierno y la policía, y el saqueo de fondos públicos. En medio de todo esto, los índices de violencia han sido extraordinariamente altos en Honduras y la gente común, especialmente aquellos que viven en áreas controladas por poderosas pandillas o sindicatos del crimen organizado, se ha visto profundamente afectada.
El control de las pandillas y maras en los vecindarios a veces se extiende hasta el punto de decidir por les residentes dónde pueden y dónde no pueden trabajar (básicamente en lugares controlados por una pandilla rival) y controlan otros comportamientos de la vida diaria. La pena por la desobediencia es a menudo alta y violenta.
Entre los efectos de este nivel de control de las maras están los “impuestos” o “cuotas” que deben pagarse regularmente. Según una encuesta reciente (la extorsión casi nunca se denuncia a la policía), les hondureñes pagan alrededor de US$737 millones en “cuotas” anualmente. Este tipo de extorsión, que afecta en particular a personas que trabajan en el sector del transporte como taxistas, es el principal objetivo por el cual se dio el estado de excepción.
Castro originalmente impuso la medida por 30 días, empezando el 6 de diciembre de 2022, incluyendo a más de 200 barrios y colonias de las dos ciudades más grandes de Honduras. Desde entonces, el estado de excepción ha sido aprobado por el Congreso de Honduras y extendido dos veces (el actual vence el 20 de abril), y ahora incluye 17 de los 18 departamentos del país.
En virtud de la orden, se suspenden seis artículos de la constitución hondureña, lo cuales se refieren a la libertad de circulación, el derecho a la libre asociación y reunión, y la inviolabilidad del domicilio. Igualmente, las fuerzas de seguridad pueden realizar arrestos sin órdenes judiciales o procesos judiciales de causa probable, las personas pueden ser detenidas por períodos más prolongados y sus hogares pueden ser allanados y registrados por la policía sin los mismos controles judiciales de un estado de derecho. Poco menos de 20.000 oficiales de múltiples agencias, incluida la Policía Militar (PMOP) creada por el régimen anterior, se han dedicado a este control.
El medio de comunicación independiente hondureño Contra Corriente destacó que el estado de excepción aumentará drásticamente las tasas de detención en un momento en que el sistema penitenciario de Honduras ya está enjaulando a casi el doble de personas para el cual fue construido para albergar.
La idea del estado de excepción sin duda viene del vecino El Salvador, donde desde hace poco menos de un año se renueva un programa similar implementado por el presidente Nayib Bukele, y los hechos son preocupantes. La evidencia sugiere que la vida cotidiana en El Salvador ha mejorado notablemente, incluso dramáticamente, y los residentes se maravillan de las formas en que ahora pueden circular libremente en público sin obstáculos por la violencia, pero estas mejoras tienen un alto costo. Hasta el momento, 64.000 personas han sido encarceladas, según cifras gubernamentales, más del 2 por ciento de la población total del país, y se ha construido una nueva “mega prisión” para albergar a la masiva población encarcelada.
Un informe de Human Rights Watch afirma que al menos 90 personas detenidas han muerto en El Salvador durante el estado de emergencia, pero el gobierno no ha investigado ninguna de estas muertes y abundan los casos de abusos y detenciones de personas inocentes. Les defensores públicos dicen que, en el entorno político y jurídico actual, es casi imposible lograr la liberación de alguien, sin importar su caso o circunstancias.
El modelo salvadoreño es tan popular en Honduras como lo es en El Salvador. “Es normal que la gente se sienta tranquila cuando puede salir de su colonia porque el estado de excepción ha barrido a la gente, pero ¿qué se ha escondido debajo de la alfombra? Lo que no se ve es que gente inocente ha sido detenida, y algunos de ellos no han salido con vida”, dijo la legisladora Claudia Ortiz al medio independiente El Faro, sobre los cambios en El Salvador. “Es impactante saber que tu tranquilidad o la mía se logró a un precio inaceptable”.
Una manta se seca durante un plantón antimilitarista el 10 de diciembre 2022 en Plaza La Merced, Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Foto: Karla Lara.
Cuestionando la normalización de la violencia
Desde el inicio del estado de excepción en Honduras en diciembre pasado, un grupo autoconvocado de antimilitaristas ha organizado plantones periódicamente en barrios que están afectados por la orden. Su propósito, dijo Sofía, es “visibilizar el carácter clasista del estado de excepción”. Su compañera, Suli Argentina, dijo que también utilizan estos espacios para compartir los testimonios de todas las formas en que las personas han sido afectadas por la militarización, para que la gente vea que, si bien la extorsión daña a la comunidad, la militarización también causa mucho daño.
Estos eventos han tomado diferentes formas, pero todos han sido en un espacio público como una plaza o un parque donde se reúne la gente de la comunidad o donde se puede ver al grupo facilmente. Muchos de los plantones han tenido actividades artísticas colectivas. En el primer evento, que se llevó a cabo el 10 de diciembre del 2022, trabajaron con miembros de la comunidad para pintar mantas, las misma que se utilizan hasta ahora en los plantones.
Una actividad aparentemente simple como pintar una manta colectivamente puede generar un diálogo sobre el militarismo y el patriarcado, dijo la cantautora popular feminista Karla Lara. Por ejemplo, el grupo pintó una manta en honor a Keyla Martínez, una estudiante de enfermería que fue asesinada en la comisaría en febrero de 2021 tras ser detenida por violar un toque de queda decretado por el coronavirus.
Mientras el grupo trabajaba en la manta, intentaban decidir de qué colores pintarla. Lara recordó que una persona sugirió que la manta se pintara de rosa. Otros participantes entablaron un diálogo, preguntando por qué pensaban que el rosa sería efectivo para humillar a la policía, y finalmente llegaron al punto de que el rosa solo “humilla” porque está asociado con la feminidad. En otras palabras, usar rosa para humillar es, en el fondo, una idea misógina.
Otros eventos han incluido presentaciones de música y talleres de grupos como Batucada AntiCistemica (un grupo que afirma la identidad trans que toca los tambores y tiene un juego de palabras con “cisgénero” en su nombre). En otra ocasión, el grupo antimilitarista se instaló en una plaza central con menos tráfico peatonal pero con alto tráfico automovilístico y colgaron las mantas para que pudieran ser vistas por más personas.
Para la gran mayoría, dijeron las activistas, el punto es crear un espacio en los barrios para cuestionar el militarismo como la solución a los problemas que vive la gente. Al mismo tiempo, dijo Sofía, se ejerce mucha cautela en la forma en que se diseñan los eventos debido a la sensibilidad de los temas y el riesgo de ser tachado del Partido Nacional y de la derecha. “Tratamos de hacer actividades lúdicas”, dijo, “para que tampoco provoquen violencia”.
Argentina dice que espera que el grupo pueda ayudar a la gente a ver “por qué la militarización no necesariamente resuelve el problema desde sus raíces, y así para que la gente empiece a entender que no estamos en contra de medidas para garantizar la seguridad de la población, sino mas bien proponemos que se tomen medidas que realmente aseguran la erradicación de este tipo violencia”.
Les activistas antimilitaristas pintan una manta diciendo “los uniformados matan” el 10 de diciembre 2022 en Plaza la Merced, Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Foto: Karla Lara.
Poner fin a la violencia requerirá mayores cambios en la calidad de vida de todos
Los barrios y las colonias bajo el estado de excepción sufren altísimos índices de pobreza y desempleo. A las personas que están en ellos se les ofrecen fuerzas de seguridad; pero no así atención médica, ni abundante comida saludable, ni arte ni escuela. No solo ha aumentado el tamaño de las fuerzas armadas a lo largo de los años de la dictadura, dijo Sofía, sino que este año también aumentó el presupuesto de seguridad con el nuevo gobierno en detrimento de otros servicios públicos.
Los abolicionistas a menudo han enfrentado pedidos de más policía que hacen las propias comunidades afectadas por el sistema policial. En su libro No More Police, las organizadoras sociales y abolicionistas Andrea Ritchie y Mariame Kaba escriben que entienden estos llamados como “respuestas a lo que se percibe como una amenaza de quitar el único recurso que ofrece el estado para responder a una multitud de problemas”. En cambio, argumentan, la abolición se trata de ofrecer a las comunidades tantos recursos como sea posible, en lugar de la violencia policial igual para todos. El sistema policial es el único recurso que ofrece el estado ante el peligro que experimentan estas comunidades en un contexto de abandono organizado, peligro que es creado y sostenido por la desigualdad y las condiciones sociales.
El mismo estado de excepción “está enfocado en los barrios más pobres… donde la falta de recursos es parte del día en día”, dijo Argentina.
Argentina y otros en el grupo de activistas antimilitaristas enfatizan fuertemente la forma racista y clasista del estado de excepción. Dicen que centrarse solo en los barrios históricamente marginados es clasista, ya que el estado de excepción no afecta a todos por igual, y destacan que la extorsión tampoco se limita a estos barrios y colonias. Además, dijo Lara, limitar la medida a dichos barrios es “instalar la idea de que la pobreza es criminal al implicar que los extorsionistas están en estos barrios”.
Al suspender los requisitos como orden judicial antes de detener, registrar o arrestar a las personas, el único criterio que la policía puede usar es quién les parece “sospechoso”. “Es puro prejuicio”, dijo Sofía. Pero el arresto de jóvenes pobres y de clase trabajadora, dijeron les activistas, también estigmatizará la pobreza ya que sus arrestos conducen a la confirmación de la presunción de su culpabilidad.
Las autoridades hondureñas afirman que no había denuncias de derechos humanos durante el estado de excepción. Las entrevistadas por Truthout confirmaron que tenían conocimiento personal de los abusos policiales, incluyendo la detención de personas inocentes, como resultado del decreto. Una contó la historia de una persona que fue recogida por la policía y dejada en un barrio extraño mientras la amenazaban, en lugar de llevarla a una comisaría.
Las personas con las que habló Truthout no se sorprendieron por la falta de denuncias oficiales. No es razonable, dijo Sofía, esperar que la gente va a la misma comisaría de la misma policía que las ha atacado para presentar una denuncia formal de abuso policial, particularmente dentro de una cultura de gran desconfianza hacia la policía que surge desde la dictadura o incluso de antes.
Estes activistas también dijeron que temen represalias por su trabajo de organización contra el estado de excepción. Si bien no han enfrentado ningún ataque físico por parte de la policía hasta el momento, los miembros del grupo son muy conscientes de que cuando critican el militarismo en Honduras, están provocando a las mismas instituciones poderosas que conservan el poder ilimitado para cometer abusos.
El estado de excepción no ha cambiado fundamentalmente la estructura de violencia, extorsión y narcotráfico en Honduras, según estes activistas, en parte porque la policía y el ejército son una parte importante de dicha estructura. A juicio de Lara, “La cultura abusiva de la policía es la de siempre. Por mucho que digan que estos son los policías del gobierno socialista, que ha habido una depuración, que ha cambiado la dirigencia, al final los policías siguen tan violentos como siempre. Diría aún más. Porque el estado de excepción les da impunidad total”. Además, agrega, todos saben quién controla realmente las drogas en el barrio: la policía.
El expresidente Juan Orlando Hernández enfrenta actualmente un juicio en los Estados Unidos por cargos de utilizar su puesto para facilitar el tráfico de más de 500 toneladas de cocaína. Es un asunto de registro público que su gobierno estaba profundamente enmarañado con el narcotráfico, y se ha establecido, en parte a través de la condena de su hermano, que usó millones de dólares del sistema de salud del país, ahora en crisis, para financiar su campaña de reelección, que fue posible como resultado de un golpe judicial que encabezó. Estos años de corrupción, abandono organizado y la desintegración de la mayoría de las instituciones son una parte importante de la historia de las causas profundas de la violencia en las calles de Honduras.
Aunque el estado de emergencia es popular, este grupo de activistas antimilitaristas no es el único que se opone. El Consejo Cívico de Organizaciones Populares e Indígenas de Honduras (COPINH), la organización fundada por la mártir defensora Berta Cáceres, también se ha pronunciado en contra. Su declaración enfatiza que las raíces de la violencia estructural que enfrentan los hondureños no se encuentran en los barrios precarios enumerados en el estado de excepción sino en las instituciones financieras, entre otros actores de élite, y entre las fuerzas de seguridad.
Puede que no haya mejor evidencia de que la estructura subyacente de violencia en Honduras sigue sin ser controlada por el estado de excepción —”que la militarización no sirve para mejorar las condiciones de vida de las personas”, como dijo Argentina— como lo evidencia la racha de asesinatos contra defensores de derechos humanos y de la tierra durante el período de emergencia. Desde fines de diciembre del 2022, asesinaron al menos ocho personas involucradas en movimientos sociales. Además, tres mujeres garífunas fueron asesinadas en enero en Puerto Cortés, zona que se encuentra bajo estado de excepción.
A les hondureños, al igual que para las personas en los EE. UU. y en muchas otras partes del mundo, se les vende un tipo específico de seguridad. Esta seguridad se puede comprar rápidamente poniendo a miles de policías y militares más en las calles, pero requiere aumentar no disminuir el nivel general de violencia, en la medida que la definición de violencia incluya el abuso policial, las redadas y el encarcelamiento.
Kaba y Ritchie escribieron que los abolicionistas deben “confrontar las historias que nos cuentan sobre el sistema policial y la seguridad que no cuadran”, incluida la forma en que “la policía coloniza nuestra imaginación”. Lara menciona, también, que “aprendimos en las series de televisión que la policía hace cosas importantes. Vemos en ‘Chicago Fire’ que además de eso son guapos”. Esto tiene que cambiar, dijo. Pero el trabajo de crear alternativas al sistema policial es lento y no tan fácil de explicar.
Constantemente se vende a la gente soluciones militarizadas y violentas al “crimen”, a través del aumento de las fuerzas policiales y de seguridad en las calles, a través de los programas de televisión y a través de los discursos de los políticos. Muy poco se representan las alternativas complejas, locales, multifacéticas y de cambio de sistema.
“Lo feo [de esta militarización] es que la gente cree que está bien que hagan eso, y que te llevan a creer que está bien eso”, dijo Lara.
Por eso es tan crítico, dicen estes activistas, crear un espacio público para cuestionar la militarización. “Como parte de la comunidad de diversidad sexual y como mujer, tengo muy claro personalmente, que no confío en la policía”. Haciéndose eco de una consigna del movimiento, agregó que la policía “no nos cuida, nos asesina”. Sin embargo, Argentina dijo: “Vamos a seguir luchando por una apuesta por la vida”.
Utilizando un lenguaje inclusivo, he optado por el uso de “e” para eludir las palabras en femenino o masculino.
For a lot of people, the world is now post-pandemic. The more than 2,400 people who died in the US from covid last week apparently did not get that memo. Data worldwide is much harder to measure but a low estimate of total deaths so far is 6.8 million people. Those are the numbers when we speak of death. But Sars-CoV-2, it has become abundantly clear, is also a mass disabling event.
I try really hard not to be a bitter person. In my interactions with other people and in my writing, I do my utmost to move from a place of love and solidarity. But there is also always rage, too. I am deeply angry at the situation we are in, that has been unfolding for the last three years, particularly within the US: the “let it rip” approach from institutions and elites. There is no attempt to keep the greatest number of people healthy and alive. Instead, it seems, we are being subjected to an attempt to desensitize the greatest number of people to the conditions of others. We are being actively socialized away—more viciously than before–from caring about our mutual and collective well-being.
And, if I am honest, on most days, I struggle seriously with the extent to which this socialization has been effective on many people I know.
Let me be clear: the Biden administration policies, the CDC policies, are not “guided by the science.” Many, many of the decisions that have been made in the last two years since Biden took office were not as a result of any changed or new scientific finding and this is clear from the statements made. An example: the reasoning for limiting and changing quarantine and isolation policies did not occur because of a new finding or understanding of the disease; it was driven by market-based reasoning not to keep people home when they were actively sick and making others sick because too many industries were short-staffed (another way to approach this problem could have been rethinking our systems so that we can function without literally pressing people into service, but you know, to each their own I guess!). In turn, the changing of these policies and the messaging around them has made it nearly impossible for anyone to do the right thing, because employers and schools everywhere are always “following CDC guidelines.”
It is a fact that it is better for everyone when there is less virus in the air. This is especially true when the virus is one that can kill and permanently disable. Covid, and doing what we can to prevent its spread, is an issue of disability justice, of racial justice, and of solidarity with the working class.
I have more to say about all of this than I think I could possibly write or that anyone might sit down and read. The main thing I want to say is that even though we are all being actively failed and sacrificed by these institutions, that does not mean it is time to give up and go along. There are always ways to do more or less harm, and there are always ways to win things back once they have been lost. It is worth trying to keep the truth straight even when we are being gaslit, because things get worse when you give totally in to the gaslighting. I know that it is hard. I know that it is exhausting, and I know that the world is not making this easy. But: don’t give up. Everything you do to fight this death-making machine matters.
Below I am sharing some resources on how to work with people to create covid protocols, what kinds of covid protocols you might want or need, processing your feelings or the larger impact to our interactions, and just learning more about covid. I want to add that if you are organizing an event of any kind, it is extremely helpful to state upfront what mitigations you do or do not expect. I realized recently that despite vaccination and booster shots, I go to fewer things than I did in 2020 because now it is so much rarer for people to be clear on the flyer/social media post about whether or not they are requiring masks, have a good ventilation system, or are even thinking about covid.
Last week I published an article in Truthout about the lack of institutional guidelines and support for keeping ourselves and each other safe during the ongoing COVID pandemic. The main thrust of the article is about how good boundaries and better practices of consent can be used as helpful tools to negotiate safer situations and help people take care of each other given the larger failures in which we find ourselves. Dr. Connie Wun, the co-founder of AAPI Women Lead, who I had the pleasure of interviewing for this piece, helped me realize that this is a focus on “collective wellness.” In the process of writing the piece, I was particularly inspired by many of the ideas I heard from the people I interviewed about how possible it is to, as the People’s CDC says, have safer in-person gatherings. I hope you all will find something helpful and useful there too.
There is also an update in the Wendy Howard case that I wrote about in July. Victoria Law published a piece just yesterday at Truthout outlining the details; Wendy’s trial ended on Oct. 21 and she was acquitted on all charges but one. The jury deadlocked on the last charge, of “voluntary manslaughter.” The details are here. Wendy Howard’s Defense Committee is continuing to call on DA Zimmer to drop all the charges and to fundraise for Wendy’s defense.
Happy end of summer, happy fall, and happy equinox! I hope folks have been finding peace in the ways you can, as well as the strength to keep resisting everything and everyone that wants to eliminate any of us or who we are. I have been working on my small vegetable garden, and have been planting a few species native to Detroit in the yard. Below is a coneflower I planted last fall that has grown into this beauty, which gave me some peace and joy all throughout August and into September.
I’ve also been quite busy, with several editorial and other public sociology projects. As always, I feel lucky to support such talented authors in making their work more accessible to readers and honored to speak in classes or at events (mainly virtually). This fall, I plan to offer a new interactive workshop on conscious language and gender pronouns. The purpose of this workshop is to affirm the right of trans people to exist in public. Please reach out directly if this is something that you are excited to learn more about!
Although elites may be more insistent than ever that things are “back to normal,” many of us know that these are critical times of disconnection (and that the claim that the pandemic is over is itself an act that tears us apart from one another). Hold fast to one another because we deserve a better world.
Right now, I am swimming in a sea of grief more days than not.
The other day my driving route took me through a small, vibrant downtown. I found myself kind of interested in the shops, scoping out the coffeeshops, and wondering if the multiple new Asian fusion restaurants were good or trying too hard and awful. I found myself laughing a little at what it would be like to go to the out-of-date gym, and wondering who goes there now. But looking at the businesses and the people, I mostly felt like I was visiting the past. I struggled to believe that I was in the moment.
I have been lucky, and I have experienced the privilege of class and race over the last two years, and so my grief is more for places, things, and ways of living forever gone to me than people lost. In the astonishing number of souls lost directly and indirectly to covid-19 in the last two years, I have lost surprisingly few people close to me. I have experienced this enormous loss more as a diminishing collective light, as a resounding lack of elders to guide us through these troubling times, as the pain I see and feel around me in the grieving of others, and as the first echo of what is coming when we talk about the end of the Anthropocene.
Sometimes it is hard to make a proper place for the grief of the loss of things and concepts when so many that I know and love are grieving the loss of dear ones. And yet another part of me knows that grief is grief. It will have its due whether I make space for it or not.
I know I am also grieving the life I believed I would have, the one that I was, finally, very excited for. It included arranging my work schedule permanently so that I could travel regularly both for pleasure and work, and do international work that was important to me. In fact, I believe I have grieved this and for the most part let it go, but I have not found something to replace it. And I have not found a way to do international work and I am scared that I will not see my friends and comrades outside the US again, some of whom were once some of my closest people. That part really scares me and it makes me really sad.
Though it’s hard to admit, even to myself, I am grieving the life I had, the one where I ate at a restaurant every week and went to the movies. Or where I traveled for pleasure, or did a thousand dumb things more easily than now. I am an anti-capitalist and it’s not true to say that I want to rebuild that lifestyle for myself or anyone else. There are many ways that I am glad to have ripped the band-aid off and to have reduced my dependency on the underpaid labor of others in a lot of ways in my life (I am interested in finding more pleasurable and constructive ways to do similar things together without that!). But the brilliant adrienne maree brown has recently reminded us both that grief is complex in that we can grieve people and things we had complicated feelings about to start with, and that capitalism is quite tricky in how it feeds us empty calories to make us think we are enjoying it even when it is not really satisfying us.
I have hesitated – for two entire years! – to write much about this because this grief feels selfish. There are clearly more urgent issues to address, and because it is not that I want most of the things I miss to come back. But this grief is also lonely. Deeply, hollowly, empty lonely. And finally, I thought perhaps I am not alone with this feeling.
“Disenfranchised grief” is grief not recognized socially. It can be harder to move through. Perhaps, I hope, there will be a reason to talk to each other in this grief and to connect over it as humans. Perhaps that is the way through, because the capitalist trap is to continue to hide or even subvert our feelings, and to try to do things by ourselves—although doing things “ourselves” almost always means relying on the paid or coerced labor of others.
I know better than to think that just because others have lost more, that my grief is not real. Although it can be really hard, we need to make space for everyone to feel and express their grief, large and small. We do not need to equate those losses, but we can create appropriate spaces for each other to acknowledge that they happened. So many of us are grieving, still forced to move through the world of the past, unsure (and afraid) of what the future will actually be.
I am not sure if I read less fiction than usual this year or if I made some bad picks and as a consequence I have fewer books to recommend. I certainly read more books than usual that I don’t want to recommend, and even a few that I actively want to dissuade anyone from reading (seriously, don’t read the Overstory). But despite the few bad experiences, I continue to find joy, rest, and thrilling new ideas in fiction.
Reading the same books as other people also creates a connection and a shared experience that I have loved since childhood. I love discussing the plot, the reactions, the details of how it feels to be enveloped in the author’s world and that motivates me to share my faves with my network every year too, hoping to share those connections.
Black Sun – Rebecca Roanhorse – I’ve raved about Roanhorse’s work before, so I was of course excited to read this as soon as it came out. It did not disappoint, and the powerful ways that Roanhorse draws on the ideas of earlier Indigenous peoples in the Americas has stayed with me all year.
Testimony – Peter Lazare and Sarah Lazare – this political thriller is a must read for folks in social movements who will instantly recognize the dilemmas and scenarios here. It also brought the early 2000s back to life for me, and showed so clearly how they continue to shape the current political landscape.
Lying Life of Adults – Elena Ferrante – I love Ferrante’s work so I loved this: beautiful prose, powerful insight into gender politics, and psychic drama from the perspective of an adolescent.
Two nonfiction books this year I have been reading in groups with friends and giving as gifts:
Beyond Survival – edited by Ejeris Dixon and Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha – This is the book I have been needing in my hands since I was a young adult in community spaces and house parties. Full of concrete tips and discussions in short essays about how to create justice outside of and beyond the harmful and violent police industrial complex (and the dilemmas and pitfalls).
We Do This Till We Free Us – Mariame Kaba – A series of essays about the work of abolition in its many forms, and why it is important, and the many issues to consider. Kaba has been part of numerous abolitionist and transformative justice projects over the last 20 years in the US, especially those focused around gender-based violence and youth, and is one of the key abolitionist thinkers of our time.
essential all-the-time listening:
I always leave these podcasts feeling wiser and, most importantly, more hopeful.
As a 20+ year listener to All Things Considered, I was really shocked and angered listening to the story titled: “For a musician in New York City, not being fully vaccinated comes at a cost.” I am a composer and performer. I also have tinnitus and would get vaccinated as many times as am asked. I have worked for the last 10 years to build a grassroots network of music-makers. This project has involved epic travel and endless performances. I have not given an in-person performance for nearly two years because I refuse to ask people to risk their lives, as well as the lives of anyone they could come into contact with on their way, to come see me. This is the true cost of a return to a music status quo. We as people have a right to music, but we do not have a right to an audience, Carnegie Hall or otherwise. As life and society change, music changes. We, especially musicians, must learn to listen over the background noise even when it is in our own heads– of this, Beethoven is always a good example. It is up to us to change with music, otherwise we join the voices asking for a return to the original context of so-called classical music: a return to despots, tyrants, and inquisitionists. This is the origination of the music we do well to keep alive so as not to forget. So many have already died so that this music could be made. I will not ask that a single other does just so that I may have a moment of attention.
I have been trying to write something about covid for over a year, and have almost finished several short essays, but have not quite been able to work it out. I have so many thoughts and ideas that need writing down, that I need to work through and share in this way, and yet I am scared to do so. A lot of what I’m going to say here is going to be partial, incomplete, not quite right, and maybe just wrong. But I’m so hungry for this conversation and dialogue that I’m going to take this plunge.
Covid seems to me to be a new avenue or axis of political struggle, analysis, and terrain, and with that come all the same difficult conversations and rending in the fabric of relationships precisely when we need them most. I have lost a couple of my closest and longest friendships in the last two years, and other friendships seem to be teetering on the brink. I haven’t handled everything the best and I know most of us are struggling in various ways. So, although I have started writing several times, I haven’t been brave enough to finish a lot of it. But there is so much gaslighting and half-truths about what’s really going on out there that it remains critical to my own survival, and I believe that of a lot of other people, to keep trying to talk out loud about what’s real and what actions, solutions, campaigns, and types of care are needed.
For me, covid has been a moment of absolute rupture. That doesn’t mean that a lot of these things were not happening before – the nexus of infectious disease, global inequality, disability, and climate crisis is not new. But at least for me, this global pandemic and the climate events that have occurred during it and which have perhaps driven it have been a major alarm bell. I cannot imagine my life ever being the same again.
Although one person’s individual actions can’t change the tide and don’t cause the problem, neither are actions neutral. I spent significant time, perhaps a full year, mourning and grieving the end of life as I knew it. It is sad to let that life go, but I do not think I will be returning to it given the embodied knowledge about the intertwining disasters of climate collapse and contagious disease that I have gained in the past two years.
In fact I have spent a lot of time grieving my life, my old life, and all the dreams and plans I had for the future. Many of those plans and ideas seem almost laughable now, and unthinkably selfish. It could be that I will not keep feeling this way – perhaps there will come a time when 6,500 people per day are not dying from covid (or another infectious disease) and I will feel very differently. We seem to live in very turbulent and changing times and that calls for a lot of flexibility and patience with ourselves as well as with each other.
I think however that this kind of turbulence and rapid change calls very much for mourning and acknowledging the changes. For me it has been personally critical to make the decision that there is no “going back to before” and that my old life (including my hopes for the future) has vanished. This is not all sad; the last two years have also been a time of growth, discovering skills I wasn’t sure I had, and working on some other abilities that need strengthening.
Without romanticizing the first two pandemic years, where millions have died and millions more have lots their loved ones and their health, it’s also important to remember there were also some gains made in the last two years. We should not want to go along with “getting back.” “Getting back” strikes me as an inherently conservative idea that also takes us back to a world without eviction moratoriums; where you owe the government interest payments on your education; where the government does not offer you unqualified payments so you can eat; and where more public money goes to the police for the purpose of advertising their effectiveness and arming themselves against us rather than for education, water, or anything that serves the purpose of life. It is in the interest of elites – the rich, the politicians, and the media that they control – that we all “get back” to how things were. And it looks as if other people, namely middle-class white people, are most focused on getting themselves isolated from covid or its more serious effects, rather than working to protect everyone. Maybe this is obvious or predictable, but it is nonetheless sad, infuriating, frustrating, and enraging.
Of the many things that I am working actively on, I am struggling with how to do all of the following at once: hold on to principled forms of action and ethics for myself in difficult circumstances, how to remain in movement and community, how to keep punching up instead of down or across, not be judgmental, and think about helpful structures of accountability when something has social consequences. I am not great at this and none of it is easy. For me, one of the more isolating aspects of covid has been the inability to have these conversations and the seeming collective amnesia as the US has moved through different phases. It feels like lessons are not being collectively carried forward. Even if this pandemic is an unpleasant experience (of course it is), there have been some critical public health and other lessons! I am left with big questions like: why haven’t more people learned to take (or give) sick days yet? why aren’t we taking better care of ourselves and each other after two years of this? why aren’t more of us re-thinking the implications of travel in more fundamental ways, beyond just the current travel regulations or even covid?
I write this as an attempt to find or re-connect with folks who want to have these conversations. I believe now, as I have for a long time, that we need honesty and that we need each other.
Ya basta de abrir mi cuenta de Facebook y enterar de otra compañera/o/e fallecida en Honduras por la narcodictadura apoyado de mi gobierno, por la falta de sistema de salud, saqueado por el partido nacional, por los asesinatos de defensoras/es, acelerado por el robo de las tierras, por la precariedad ante huracanes y cambio climático, por la desigualdad, por los múltiples desastres, y por la oscuridad de vivir así.
El mundo ha perdido la compañera Aurelia Arzú. Yo solo tuve una oportunidad de hablar con ella, hace poco más de un año, para aprender sobre las condiciones durante covid en las comunidades organizado con OFRANEH. Sus palabras y su sabia en esta pequeña entrevista me tocaron profundamente.
Unos meses después de que publiqué la entrevista, intenté servir como un puente para una oportunidad para difundir las palabras de la compañera Aurelia en inglés. Pero al final fue imposible por la situación que viven en esta parte de Honduras, por los dos huracanes que hicieron ya más imposible la comunicación hacia afuera.
La compañera Aurelia fue conocida como Patrona, y fue una lideresa importante de OFRANEH por muchos años. Me hubiera gustado conocerla en persona, y me hubiera gustado escuchar más de sus palabras. Pero ya no puedo. Eso me llena de dolor, y de rabia también. No me imagino como se sientan las personas que la conocieron. Les ofrezco a sus seres queridos mi más sentido pésame. Entiendo que su vida fue una vida de luz, de lucha, de fuerza, y de mucho amor, y que eso sería su legado.
I’m tired of opening Facebook and finding out about another compañera/o/e in Honduras who has died because of the narcodictatorship supported by my government; because of the lack of health system, looted by the National Party; by the assassination of human rights and land defenders, accelerated by the theft of lands; by the precarity of hurricanes and climate change; because of the multiple disasters; by the darkness that comes with living with all of this.
The world has lost Aurelia Arzú. I only had an opportunity to speak with her once, a little over a year ago, to learn about the conditions under covid of the communities that are organizing with OFRANEH. Her words and her wisdom in that small encounter touched me deeply.
A few months after I published the interview, I tried to serve as a bridge to an opportunity to publish compañera Aurelia’s words more widely in English. But in the end it turned out to be impossible because of the situation that people are in in that part of Honduras, because of the two hurricanes that made communicating with the outside world even more impossible.
Compañera Aurelia was known was Patrona, and she was an important leader of OFRANEH for many years. I would have liked to meet her in person, and I would have liked to hear more of her words. But now I cannot, and this fills me with sadness, and also anger. I cannot imagine the way people who knew her feel. I offer my deepest condolences to her loved ones. I understand that her life was one of light, struggle, strength, and much love, and that this will be her legacy.
![A purple and green image with a picture of a woman in the center. Text reads: Call: Kern County DA Cynthia Zimmer at 661-868-2340. SAY: My name is [xxx]. [If you are part of an organization, mention it.] I am calling to demand that you drop the charges against Wendy Howard. Survivors of domestic violence must be able to defend themselves when in danger, and they deserve more than being forced to choose between their lives and their freedom! As DA, you've pledged to protect survivors and we ask you to uphold that pledge and end the abuse-to-prison pipeline today. Drop the charges against Wendy!](https://rebelprof.files.wordpress.com/2022/10/phonezap-for-wh.jpg?w=1024)
Dr. Meg Krausch 